Sightless Faith

Imagine with me, if you will, that you went into work one day to find a letter from your boss on your desk, with very specific instructions. 

Dear ______, Today, I am starting a journey, and I need you to come with me. I know where we are going, but I may not tell you for a long time. I am not going to tell you how we are going to get there or how long it will take, I just need you to trust me. You may have to be away from everything you feel comfortable with for a while. You won't be fired if you don't come with me, don't worry, but if you do come with me, in the end you will be so thankful you did. I just need you to trust me.

Can you imagine getting a message like that? I can't, but what I do know is

this is what the Lord asks of us every day.

"for we walk by FAITH, not by sight"

Our faith is a sightless faith. When the Lord calls us to do something, he doesn't map out everything that will happen, make sure we are comfortable with all of those things, and then ask us to go...he just says, go. You can trust me with the details.

I am so thankful that our faith is sightless. If the Lord had revealed to me a year and a half ago all of the little bumps in the road that would happen before and while being at the children's home, I would have run away, but now that I have experienced these bumps, I am so thankful for them.

I am being led into some things these days and all the Lord has asked me to do is "GO".

Do I know where I am going? No.

Do I know when I will get there? No.

Do I know how I will get the money? No.

Do I know all of the bumps in the road that will happen between now and then? No.

Lately, my convictions have been tested. I have been challenged to stand firm in the fact that I trust the Lord to take care of me. Even though it hasn't been easy, I am so thankful.

I am for sure going to Nicaragua this June for a week and I know some of the things that the Lord has laid on my heart for while I am there. Do I know how I will get the money? Not at all. What I do know is that the Lord will bring the money to me in the way that will bring HIM the most glory, and I am so thankful that he already has it taken care of, whether or not I know the answers or not.

So my challenge to whoever is reading this is to sit down with the Lord and listen to what he is calling you to do and just start walking with him there. He may not give you every answer up front (let's be real, he most likely will not) but he will reveal it to you in HIS time.

The Next Adventure

So first of all, I failed at my 31 day blog challenge. There, I said it, but I must say i did learn a few things from that experience. 

1. I really hate feeling obligated to have something to say all of the time, it made everything feel forced and not genuine.

2. I don't have near as much to say as I thought I did

3. Random blogs that don't have cute pictures of babies or really deep meaningful stuff are not as cool as I thought they could be.

So let's get to the meat of today's blog post.

If you have read this blog at all, you have probably noticed that I have a love for mission work and all things associated with it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, which in its true essence is mission work at its finest. I get to share the love of Jesus every day, and that's what I love to do more than anything. Although I get to do this here everyday, I also dream every day about foreign missions. 

That is my heart. 

An opportunity to do what I love the most came open and I prayerfully considered. I didn't want to jump at it immediately and just continued to ask the lord to make it clear that he desired for me to go on this trip. 

He delivered.

There weren't any open spots on the trip, and then there were 2.

I had to have a large sum of the money 1 week after I found out I was going, and the lord provided the money in...wait for it...

LESS THAN 48 HOURS.

The Lord is so good and loves his children so much, so all that to be said...I am going to Nicaragua for a week in the middle of June!

I couldn't be more thrilled.

The Lord has been laying very specific things on my heart about this trip and I need you guys to be praying with me that more than anything, God will be glorified through this trip. 

Also pray that the Lord will provide the next $650 dollars, which is due by MAY 1ST. 

This is a big goal, but my god is bigger. He has already proved that, time and time again. Why start doubting now?

If you feel led in any way to give to help me make it to Nicaragua, click on the yellow donate button at the top right of my page. 

Thanks for praying!

The Last Book I Read- Love Does

Reading is something that I love to do, but never really get around to making myself sit down and do it. So that being said, I have a huge stack of books on the "read next" shelf. I was going to start one of those until a package came to me in the mail from someone. Now I am aware that God didn't order this book off Amazon and have it shipped to me, but what I do know is that God laid it on my friend's heart to send it to me, because I needed it for sure.

The book is called "Love Does" by Bob Goff

This book is awesome. It is an account of some of the stories in this man's life, and let me tell ya....he has lived life to the fullest. Mr. Goff is fully aware that every day he is blessed with is a gift from God, so he uses every second to have fun and glorify the lord while he's having a blast.

I needed this book.

At the time this book was sent to me, I was in a funk. Not a sad kind of funk, just a my life is very settled kind of funk. My schedule wasn't changing, I didn't have any exciting plans coming up...life was just normal. I wasn't living my life to the fullest, I was living it to get by...and then this blessing was dropped on my doorstep. This book is still inspiring me to live my life with joy. Since reading it, I have noticed that I care a little less about what people think of me, so I do things like dance in the grocery store when a good groove comes on and just encourage people I know and don't know more often. I mean, I still have my days where I lay around and do nothing...let's be real, we all need that, but I was put on this earth for just this one life...I might as well have fun! This book opened my eyes a lot and I am so thankful that my not-so-secret friend sent this to me...I am soon going to need to pay it forward and send it to someone else. We all need a little whimsy in our lives, so let's go find it! 

Have a blessed one!

My Dream Job

So, this is supposed to be a post about my dream job. You see, there are a lot of things I would love to do, but I can't say there is one specific job that stands out to me as being the one I would want to do forever and there are a couple of reasons for that. The first being...I am one fickle pickle. I change my mind often and have the attention span of an unfocused gnat.

 So, there's that. 

The main reason there isn't a job that I want to do the rest of my life is that I want to be open and willing to follow the Lord wherever and whenever he leads me. 

You see, back in the day, there were these two guys named Simon and Andrew. They were brothers and were out fishing one day, which was their job, and a man named Jesus came to them and said "come follow me and I will make you fishers of men" and they immediately left their job and followed him.

Now that's what I am talking about

I am not saying that I will never have a steady job, or that I won't have a single job that I do for the rest of my life. All I am saying is, I want the rest of my life to be devoted to Christ and to be open to whatever he calls me to do. If that entails certain jobs, you better believe I will give it my all.

Now just for fun, here are some things I would love to do.

1) I want nothing more than to minister to my household one day and help point my kids to christ by example and encourage my husband in leading our family (not a "job", but basically the only thing I have ever consistently wanted to do)

2) Full-time Missionary in the states or out

3) I would love to minister to missionaries...they need to be poured into just as much if not more than the people they are ministering to

4) Photographer (I have no skill in this category, but it would be stinkin fun)

5) Barista (as I have mentioned before coffee=community and I sure do love community)

6) Birth Doula

7) Interior Design

8) That cool hippie lady that does pottery and glass blowing and drives a Subaru (again, no skills, just seems awesome)

9) Professional traveler and roadtripper (I think I am just making stuff up at this point)

Ok, so it's late and I am sure I'll think of many other jobs after I post this...that's just the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.

Goodnight, friends.

Favorite Movies I Never Get Sick of Watching

Well after a week of craziness I am finally back! We took our girls to a ranch outside of town and spent many hours playing bananagrams, watching movies, paddleboating, and finding hidden waterfalls. I'm glad to get back to a structured schedule though! 

___________________________________

Everyone has their own movie watching style. Some people like to see a movie once and never watch it again. I, on the other hand, love to watch movies over and over and there are a select few that never get old!

1) My first movie loves- Father of the Bride 1&2

2) Finding Nemo

3) The Parent Trap

4) Anything with "Harry Potter" in the title

5) Hunger Games

This is short and sweet, but sometimes it's just better that way!

Tomorrow: My Dream Job

Band- My Favorite Childhood Memory

The topic for today's post is supposed to be about my favorite childhood memory. I don't know about you, but I had a picturesque childhood. I was surrounded by family and friends often and had so many opportunities. That being said, there is no way for me to pick just one memory, so instead I am talking about one of the biggest blessings of my childhood that still sticks with me today....yes, folks, that blessing is band. No, I am not talking about some awesome rock band, I am talking about the school kind, the kind that at some people's school was fuel for bullying, but praise God that it wasn't that way for me.

You see, I started doing band from the day I was born! My dad was a high school band director and so my fall Friday nights were often spent at the football field wearing my toddler sized color guard uniform cheering on my dad, and the rest of the band of course. My dad was (and still is) my superhero. I thought it was so cool that he got to stand on the football field and direct 100 high school students, and they listened. I thought it was so amazing that one person could have that many students respect him...ok I am getting off subject here, but all that to be said because I love my dad. Anyway, if I wasn't at the football field, I was at band camp, winter guard rehearsals and competitions, or band competitions. 

As a family, we were so blessed to be able to travel with my dad's band to some cool places, my favorites being Orlando and Washington D.C. Aside from the traveling I always had my two buddies with me, my brother and my cousin, as well as my always willing to do whatever crazy thing we asked of her Mama, and my super awesome Aunt Tuff and Uncle Al. 

Those were the days I tell ya. 

So, as you can tell, band is a very fond memory of mine, which made my decision to be a part of my high school band a fairly easy choice. I played the flute in concert band (I wanted to play drums but my dad wouldn't let me, and I still bug him about that today) and performed with the color guard for marching season. Memories from band are the best memories I have from high school, and you wanna know what the best part was? My super awesome Aunt Tuff and Uncle Al were my directors! We had some amazing opportunities with our high school band. Our band was not your artsy fartsy type of band...we played rock music, so every performance was so much fun. In the time I was in high school, I was blessed to be able to travel twice to London, England and perform in the New Year's Day Parade there, and if that's not cool, I don't know what is.

Now that I have moved on from band, I still get giddy every time I go to a band competition. I will cherish these memories forever!

On a completely different note, we are taking our kids on a mini vacation this week, so I will be taking a little break from blogging. I'll be back though!

Day 3: What makes me happy

1) Worship- I absolutely love getting to spend sweet time in worship to the one who saved my soul!

2) My amazing family! I am truly blessed with a family who is always there for one another!

acid wash jeans and poofy bangs brought to you by 1993

3) The rare times that I get to spend one-on-one time with my girls. They are amazing kids and I wish I could do this more!

4) Chacos- if you have ever worn them, you understand why.

5) Long drives with the windows down listening to some sweet jams.

6) Painting- the best quiet time I could think of

my first and still my favorite painting :)

7) This face

8) Hammock time with friends

9) Speaking of friends, they make me quite happy as well! I have the best friends around, never a dull moment!

10) a good cup of coffee- coffee has become important to me, not because of the caffeine (even though it is a necessary evil when raising children), but because of the community that comes with it! I very rarely make my own cup, but instead enjoy a cup with friends at my favorite coffee shop. If you live in Cookeville and haven't been to Perk Up, you are missing out!

11) Third world missions has a HUGE part of my heart, and the kids are always the best part. These kids have next to nothing and are literally the happiest kids in the world...that's a life lesson right there!

12) Looking back at old pictures

13) Christmas time- nuff said.

This is certainly not a comprehensive list of all of the things that make me happy, but it definitely covers the basic! This is been a very happy time, if you will! Thanks for reading! See ya tomorrow!

Tomorrow's blog: best childhood memory

Day 2: Favorite Quotes

If you have ever been around my best friends and I, you are fully aware that quotes have become our language with one another. At any given time you will find us performing whole scenes from a few different movies, so to say that trying to figure out my favorite quotes is difficult, is a HUGE understatement. So I thought I'd narrow it down to a few of my favorites.

The first category is of course, movie quotes! It was hard but I narrowed it down to 5! 


1) I had to pick this one first because this is by far my favorite way to start off the day! Enjoy!

2) If you are a girl of my generation, you can probably quote the whole mean girls movie...you are not alone!

3) Another Finding Nemo....I can't get enough of that movie!Pretty much the whole turtle scene rocks my world.

4) This is the movie I have probably watched the most in my life and this is just one of my many favorite moments!

5) No list of favorite movie quotes would be complete without a visit to The Parent Trap. I wish I could put the whole movie on here because I believe I know every word.

Ok well that was way too much fun (for me, anyway), but now it's time to take it to a more serious group of quotes. These are what I like to call my life quotes, they inspire me and help me to better figure out this crazy life of mine! These are just a few of my favorites.

Well Folks, that's the end of today's quote session! I hope that at least one of these quotes sparked something inside of you, whether it be joy, hope, or inspiration! Thanks for reading!

Tomorrow: What Makes Me Happy

31 Day Blog Challenge!

So, let's have a time of honesty here. I am the worst blogger ever. I think about blogging daily, but never come around to actually doing it...and that makes me a sad little pile of sad. I want to have memories to look back on and I really think that a blog is a perfect way to do that. I am making an attempt to blog every day for the next 31 days, in hopes that by the end of the 31 days blogging won't feel like such a daunting task and then it will become a bigger part of my life! So...let us start at the very beginning (I've heard that's a very good place to start). 

Day one consists of a self portrait (eek!) and 5 random facts about myself. Well if you saw me right now, you would understand why I didn't take a cute little selfie today and instead chose one from a few days ago. (can someone say yoga pants, glasses, greasy hair and no makeup, ew) Sooo I went searching through the ole iphone to find a recent picture and this is the one I found first, so we'll go with that one! 

So that's me! If you don't know me, which I doubt will be any of you, my name is Katie and that is not my normal smile...at least I hope it isn't. If it is, someone needs to tell me to stop being so overzealous!

Next on the agenda is 5 random facts about myself...so here it goes! 

1) There's a list of about 7 blogs that I read on the daily, and I have never met any of the people who write them! Some call this creepy, I call this dedication.

2) Between Kindergarten and 12th grade, there were only 2 years that I didn't have a parent working in my school. Mom teaches 1st grade and dad was my high school principal!

3) I typically wear only one piece of jewelry, a bird necklace. I bought this necklace as a reminder that God will always take care of me! Matthew 6:26

4) I have been out of the country 6 times. I went to London in 2003 and 2006, Mexico in 2009, The Dominican Republic in 2010 and 2011 and Uganda in 2012. 

5) I work and live at a Children's home called Mustard Seed Ranch and help our amazing house parents take care of seven beautiful girls!

I also used to have blonde hair :)

Well I guess that wasn't too difficult, maybe I can do this! Woo! See ya tomorrow!

Tomorrow's topic: My Favorite Quotes

Share Jesus

Back in October my life was completely flipped upside down when I was offered what I would consider to be a dream job.

Now this job may not be everyone's dream, but for me it was all I could have ever asked for. This job was at a children's home in Cookeville where I would be helping to take care of 6 precious young ladies. All I've ever consistently wanted to do was to be a mom, so to have this opportunity to learn how seemed perfect. Not only was I going to be schooled (and I mean SCHOOLED) in the arts of motherhood, I was getting to do my favorite thing.

Share Jesus. 

The purpose of this home is not about giving these kids a roof over their head and food in their bellies (although we do that, of course) this place is about giving them JESUS and that, my friends, is the only way to change lives and the reason I fell in love with this place.

In all honesty though, when I took this job, I felt as if I was giving up a big dream of mine, foreign missions. If you know me then you know that my heart constantly longs to be walking the dirt roads with kids that I can barely understand surrounding me. I desire (and have yet to be successful) at living a life of simplicity. As the weeks went by and I was falling more in love with our girls and my family here, I felt a gentle nudge from the Lord letting me know that he knew my desires and that my dream wasn't being given up, I was just choosing to follow HIS path to get there not mine. You see, I have learned things while being in this position that I believe are going to be major players in the years to come. Whether those years are here in the ole U.S. of A. or walking those dirt roads, I don't know. What I do know is that where I am right now is an important part of my journey and with that I will be satisfied.

Several months back I heard about a couple friends of mine who were going to spend their summer in Uganda. As soon as I heard about this trip my heart was stirred, so I began praying. I wasn't praying about me going on this trip at all, just praying for God's favor for my friends. As time passed my heart was drawing nearer to this trip so I just felt like I was supposed to pray harder for them, so I did and I soon felt the lord saying that someone was supposed to go visit them during the summer and not only minister to the people of Uganda, but mainly to follow the call of Romans 12 to contribute to the needs of the saints. So I told the lord that he could just let me know who that was and I would let them know. (HAHA like he can't tell them himself)

Now you probably know where this is going but let me just say....I HAD NO IDEA. One night in the middle of worship....BOOM there it was. The Lord let me know who was supposed to go, and that person was me.

Now, what's a girl to do? Well she is to listen to the Lord and do what he asks!(waaaayy easier said than done)

So, it looks like I am going to Uganda and I couldn't be more thrilled. I get to spend 12 days walking those dirt roads and living the life of simplicity that I so long for, but even more than that...

I GET TO SHARE JESUS.

I get to love on some missionaries and their children.

I get to serve the Lord by serving His people.

I get to love people.

How amazing is it that our God doesn't show who he is through works or great riches, but through LOVE??

So friends, let's get to the heart of the matter. I need you guys to pray. Pray with faith. Pray for the Lord's will to be done while in Uganda. Pray that all of the financial needs will be met. Pray for God's name to be glorified above all else.

The Lord has led me to this place. My heart has longed for Africa for years, even though I have never set foot there. I have no idea how God will provide the money for me to get there, but I KNOW that he will because he is a faithful God. I am currently in need of $1900 to fund this entire adventure. As creative as I may be I am short on time and even shorter on ideas to raise funds. 

If you could be praying for the Lord to give me ideas, I would be so blessed by that. I also invite you to pray about financially supporting this trip.

If you do not feel led to help, then don't. (no hard feelings) But if you do feel led, I ask you to consider it. You can donate straight to my trip by using the "donate" button at the top right of my blog using paypal. Easy enough, right?

If you have any specific questions about anything you can either message me on facebook, or email me at kbcoggin21@gmail.com

 Your prayers mean more than I could ever say. I am ever grateful for the community of believers that the Lord has blessed me with.

To Whom it May Concern:

there are a few things you need to know...
1) I will always love our God more than you.
2)I pray for you more than you will ever know (and that will never stop)
3) The most attractive thing you can ever do, is to love the Lord with a deep passion. (holding babies is pretty attractive too)
4) I like to laugh, sometimes at things that only I think are funny
5) Music is part of who I am. Not much I love more than a drive through the country, singing at the top of my lungs
6)I am striving everyday to be the most beautiful woman I can be, my standards for that beauty come solely from the word of God
7)I can put on a pretty tough shell, but I am actually a softy at heart
8) My love language is cuddling, and rainbow nerds make for a close second
9) I don't like pointless conversation, so if I am ever talking your ear off I probably really want to talk about something, just be patient...i'll get there eventually
10) I want to be a mom. Whether those children are ones that are made from scratch by you and me, or children handpicked to be ours from our father.

11) I am not a planner, I am a "leap-of-faither"
12) I am not the best cook, but I cannot wait to cook you dinner
13) If you pump my gas for me or take out the trash....MAJOR husband points!
14) I am so looking forward to our family being led by you!

In the Hands of the Potter

I have always loved art.

Growing up I have been in love with music since I could remember and for so long, music was the only form of art that I took hold of and held dear, but over the past several months, I have been drawn to different art forms, mainly pottery.

I have never done any pottery myself, but for some reason I want nothing more than to sit at a pottery wheel and create; have that time of peaceful surrender. I want nothing more than for my brain to stop traveling a hundred different directions at once and just be able to sit there, hands in the clay, working toward something beautiful. 

This afternoon I spent some time with a dear friend who has experienced this several times. I was blessed with the opportunity to learn from her older, wiser heart about how potter actually works. She talked about the fragility of the clay and the pot, she talked about how the clay had to be centered or it would fall to pieces. I learned about the firing process of the clay and that when the clay goes through the fire it is at it's most fragile, but after the fire, the clay is tough and resilient. The pot is then covered with a glaze that is apparently ugly when you put it on. The pot is then put through ANOTHER fire and after the second fire is when the lump of clay has made its final destination into the beautiful pot.

While listening about the process of how pottery works, I quickly realized that she wasn't talking about clay anymore. She wasnt talking about how clay is formed into beauty but how GOD forms US into beautiful vessels built to carry his spirit!

How beautiful are the hands of the Lord for creating us. He makes us all different, some of us are big sturdy pots, some are beautifully refined bowls (the list could go on) but, no matter how we were made, we were all made for ONE purpose. To be the vessel that carries the lord to others.

what a gift!

Maybe one day I will get to live that dream of making pottery, but for today I will rest content in knowing that I was handmade by my father to carry his word and spirit to whoever I come across. I was put through fires, fires that sometimes seemed unbearable, but fires that have toughened me up and have made me to shine the beauty of God's handiwork.

So when you are in the fire,feeling like you could easily break, remember that the Lord has put you through that so the beauty of his handiwork can shine through you!

Losing Sight

The past few weeks have been packed full of events, classes, spending time with friends and attempting to do math problems that I have no chance at understanding. I have been so preoccupied with life on this earth that I have lost sight of the big picture.

I have been so concerned with getting places on time, making sure I say hi to everyone I know, trying to be an example to younger girls (and the list could go on and on) that I have forgotten the reason I was given these opportunities. 

I have lost sight of my God who rescued me from the pit I was trapped in for so long. I have lost sight of the blessing of a quiet moment with my lord. I have lost sight of the importance of talking about God in conversation. I have lost sight of the necessity of God-centered relationships.

I want to see again. My prayer is that not just me, but that we can all take a step back, stop looking at the how when and why and remember why we do the things we do. It is not for us...it is for the GLORY OF GOD! I pray that we can show God to those who dont know him and that we can have relationships centered on God with our brothers and sisters.

the day that changed it all

This is an entry in my Dominican Journal, I didn't know this then, but this day changed my life forever. 

3-10-11

Yesterday was Puerto Plata day. On this day we go to the hospital and the dump. It takes around 3 hours to get to the city so we wake up early and hit the road. When we got into Puerto Plata we went straight into the hospital and over to the children's ward. Most of the children were there with mild injuries and illnesses, but there was one who stood out the most. It was a boy who was at least 10 years old and he could have not weighed more than 30 pounds. He just laid there lifeless while his mother fed him a thick formula out of a baby bottle. We sang and prayed and I just couldn't leave the room. I couldn't leave the boy and his mom alone, with no hope. After my group left the room I walked over to the boy and his mother and asked her if I could pray for her son. With tears in her eyes, she said a meed "Si, por favor". I held his weak hand and prayed over him, as soon as the prayer was over I completely melted into tears. I have never seen anyone so malnourished, then I remembered that I, too, have been in that place of malnourishment before, just in a different way. I was weak and sick and my only hope was God holding me tight and feeding me the thick milk of his word. Just seeing how I had felt on the inside displayed so perfectly in the hospital was overwhelming. After pulling myself together, we went to other children rooms and sand and prayed over them. There was a 4 month old baby there named Reubens and he was covered in either a rash or a burn. He was by far, the happiest baby I have ever seen, just looking at each other we laughed and laughed. This, too, reminds me of my savior. I was once hurt and I have scars, but I am whole and joyful to be alive in Him. 

After visiting the children ward we went to the woman's wing and sang and prayed with them as well. We got to spend some time with William our translator, and he is absolutely hilarious! After the hospital we went to a part to eat lunch and I got to spend some time with Kins just talking about our faith and the sacrifices involved in giving up everything for your faith. 

After eating lunch we spent some time getting to know and playing with the kids at the dump. When we arrived, kids started to run over and play with us. One little girl was standing by herself so I went up and tried to talk to her, she wouldn't look me in the eye, talk, or even smile. It was obvious that this little girl, only a few years old, has already experienced a harsh life. I finally talked her into sitting in my lap and she wouldn't let go. All I could do was hug and love on this little girl. I held her so tight and kissed her head and repeated over and over that I loved her. Eventually she looked me in the eyes and gave me a faint smile. I prayed for her and sent her to play. 

After the little girl started playing, Kins asked me to come as these two girls their names, the older sister was Johailey and the little girl's name was Corazon, which means heart in spanish. Corazon immediately stood out because she had one arm that is underdeveloped. I soon got to talking to Corazon and there was an immediate bond. She is absolutely beautiful and has the perfect smile. She would hug me tight, with both arms and when she went to give me a high five, she would never use her fully developed arm. Her mom came up to me and told me that I was the only friend Cora had and I am so blessed to be her friend. We sang and played together and eventually she ended up in my arms and wouldn't let go. It came time for us to leave and I went to hand Cora back to her mom and her mom told me no. She told me several times to take Cora with me. My heart broke into pieces. I wanted so badly to say "of course I'll take her", but I couldn't. I then took her to her sister and her sister told me no as well. What was I supposed to do? This 4 year old girl was my friend that I loved. I couldn't leave her. I eventually had to put her down and we had a tearful goodbye. I pray she is okay, that she is loved and cherished. I miss her terribly and I want nothing more than to go back to the dump and bring her home with me. 

Lord, I pray that Cora has your love and peace raining down on her. Help her to know that she is loved and cherished, I love you Lord, amen. 

THIS DAY CHANGED ME FOREVER. 

Ever since meeting Cora, my heart has been flipping upside down in my chest to get back to the Dominican to see her. Cora put a face and a name to the millions of children who go to bed hungry, the millions of children who have disabilities and diseases but are in environments in which they cannot thrive, the millions of children whose parents would give them to a stranger in a heartbeat if it meant that there child would have a chance. 

I am not ok with this. 

Ever since this day, the lord has been moving my heart in ways that I could never imagine. Laying out plans for me, that I would never plan for myself. 

I ask for prayers as I try to discern the Lord's will. I am willing to give it all up for him and I just pray that I will go where the Lord plants me. If that is in the Dominican dump, I will go. If that is in America, I will stay. 

In the coming months, I will be having to make some huge decisions about my future and where I will end up. I cannot wait to see what journey God takes me on, dont get me wrong, I would love for it to be next to Cora, but if not I will remain joyful whereever I go. 

I found my Prince Charming

There is something that has been on my heart for a while now that I feel like I need to share. Warning: there will be rambling in your very near future if you choose to keep reading this!

I am single.

There...I said it.

I am a single girl living in a world that was made for couples. I am a single girl living in a world that tells me that I am not complete without a man by my side. I am a single girl who is told that "the lord will give you a man when you are ready". I am a single girl who is told that if she loses 20 pounds or cuts her hair that more guys will like her. I am a single girl who is indirectly told that because I don't have a man by my side that there is something wrong with me. 

I am a single girl who lives in a world created by the one true God. I am a single girl who has been made complete by my heavenly father. I am a single girl that trusts that the Lord will bless me with a husband when HE is ready. I am a single girl that knows that just because my thighs may jiggle more than other girls, I am a daughter of the king, and THAT makes me beautiful. I am a single girl that knows that nothing is wrong with me because I was made by a perfect creator. 

My hope and my prayer is that "all the single ladies" out there can stop seeing singleness as a handicap. Being single is one of the best gifts the Lord can give us. Just think about it...the Lord has given us time to spend with him and only him. He has given us the gift of not being tied down so that we can follow Him to the ends of the earth. 

This concept is something that I am just now coming to grips with. For years, I would long for someone to share my life with, someone to talk to about anything, someone to lead me spiritually, someone to tell me I am beautiful, someone that I could follow. After years of holding this desire deep within me, I realized that I already was in a relationship like this. 

With Jesus.

The amazing thing about our lord is that HE COMPLETES US. We do not need another person in our life to make us whole, because once we take on the Lord as the leader of our lives, we are complete! How amazing.

I truly hope and pray that the single women of God will stop looking for "Mr. Right" because he is already there waiting on you to come to him! He is standing at the door, with a dozen roses, ready to romance you until the day you die! I also pray that once we do find the man that God has blessed us with as a husband, we do not look for him to complete us, because a man will never be able to complete us. The gift of marriage was not given to us as a way of making two halves become a whole, it is a way that two people who love God more than anything, can come together and teach the world about God's love! It is a way that two people can raise a family that is taught about God and is taught to share God with the world! 

Praise God for singleness. Praise God for this time that can be spent with just God and Katie.

Why I am here

Every blog that has ever been written has some underlying purpose for it's existence. Some people write blogs about crafting (woot woot), some write for their own personal need of expressing themselves and some write about topics such as leadership and how to move up in the world. Up until last February, I had never been a part of this blogging world. I originally thought of it as a way of people to keep up with family from afar or just share what they thought, but I have learned that blogs can change lives. My life and my purpose was changed by God of course, but he used the blogs of some amazing people to help facilitate that change. I was reading a family friend's blog one day out of boredom and I just started clicking on other people's blogs. One of those blogs was a family who had adopted a child from Ethiopia. I had always thought of adoption as an interesting topic, so I kept reading and kept clicking. I then came across the blogs of a few families who were giving all they had to the Lord and through that, advocating and bringing a voice to the voiceless. I read a blog about a girl MY AGE with MY NAME being the hands and feet of Jesus. A girl that made me realize that even though I was young, I could wholeheartedly serve God.

MY LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED

Through reading the stories of these families, I was encouraged and I was given hope that in a nation who's focus was not on God, that there are people out there willing to give their everything to HIS purpose. HOW AMAZING! I have not stopped reading these blogs since and I feel as if I am a part of their family, even though we have never met. I have seen God work miracles through these families and I am so proud to know them. (even though if I were to see them on the street they would have no clue who I was, but would I throw a 4yr old fit of excitement if I saw them, creepy? completely.)

The lord used these blogs to open my heart to orphans. Because of these blogs I cannot wait to share with you (whoever you are) my journey of following the Lord. He has put the motherless on my heart for a reason, this reason I am not sure of yet, but I am patiently waiting for that tug at my heart in the right direction. The purpose of this blog is not just about orphan care or about the different things that God has laid on my heart, but this blog is about a 22 year old trying to follow God one step at a time. My hope for this blog is that I can be completely honest and not sugar coat my walk with the Lord. I mess up every single day and I will never say anything different. My life is messy and by no stretch of the imagination have I got it together. Like most other christians, I experience huge highs and MAJOR lows in my walk with christ and I hope to share those times in the most honest way possible. 

Even though it scares me to death to put it all out here for the world to see, I hope to encourage at least one person along the way. I hope that if someone is a non-believer looking at this blog, they do not see what the world has decided Christians should be like. I hope that they see that Christianity is for sinners, for people like me who have made every mistake in the book. Christianity is not beautiful because we are these amazing people who never make mistakes, because WE ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE. Christianity is beautiful because our savior took our sins on him and took the wrath for us all so that we can live a life of liberty.

My hope is that you will see that being a christian is not all fluffy rainbows. Being a christian requires sacrifice, and those sacrifices are not easy, but they are worth it. If I have learned anything in my short 22 years on earth, it is that a life with the Lord is more beautiful than any other life that there is. God can turn ashes into beauty, and I can say this because I have been the ashes. I was lost and living a life of destruction and then the Lord set me free. What a beautiful life to live! I am happy to share it with you!

"as a prisoner for the Lord, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of spirit in the bond of peace"

-Ephesians 4:1-3

it is HE who lives in me

written on April 10, 2011

For as long as I can remember, church has been part of my life. Sometimes I loved it, sometimes I hated it, but it has always been there. Why was I sent to church growing up? It would make sense that it would be for me to be a good person, for me to be successful (by the world’s standards) or for me not to make some of the detrimental mistakes that “non-churchgoers” make. After 22 years of church going, I have managed to make some of those mistakes, not be a very successful person and sometimes I question whether or not I am a “good” person. If I have managed to fail at those basic things, what was the point in me going to church for the past 22 years? I have learned to love the Lord with all of my heart. Isn’t that what the bible says to do? If so, therefore I must obey His word, which has nothing to do with monetary success or not making mistakes. Obeying God is quite the opposite! I am told to give up everything I have to feed the poor, and to go to all nations preaching the Gospel and I will make mistakes and mess up but I serve a God whose grace is bigger than all of those things!

We have gotten it wrong. Church isn’t about being a good person, being successful, or not making mistakes. Church is about God. God is about love, so let us love! Let us give! Let us bless others with the gifts that God has given us! We have one chance to tell the world about the redemptive power of our Lord. If we only have this one chance, why would we waste it sitting in our nice houses, in our comfy chairs, watching television that is polluting our minds when there are people dying everyday without knowing our Lord? We have gotten it wrong. This is not the life we are called to live.

How can I, a 22 year old, live to this high of a standard? I must let the Lord dwell in me. This is no longer my life, it is God’s. I must let him use me and mold me to whatever he wants me to be. This person he molds me to be will most likely not be what the people who love me want to be, but I must continue on because I am HIS, not THEIRS. I must be willing to give up the comforts of my life and dive into the comfort that only our Lord can give. He is directing my paths every minute. It is up to me to follow these paths, even if it disappoints the people I love. this is scary. For me to leave the comforts of my loved ones’ arms is the scariest thing I have ever had to do, but I am going to the loving arms of my lord and savior, and there is nowhere else I would rather be.

I have never done anything without the full support of at least a couple of people. I have been supported my whole life and people have always said that I could do anything I wanted to do. Well what I want is no longer important. What God wants is the only thing that matters to me, and I am finding that people are much more willing to support me than they are to support God. Why is this? He created the world, he created me, he lives in me. Why are his ways not as good as my ways? I ask myself this question daily and wonder why the people I love will not stand behind God working in my life. It breaks my heart to know that to follow Christ, I must give up some of the people I love. We are told that this will happen and I must accept it and believe that my God has bigger plans. My god is greater, my god is stronger.

Soon I will be making the biggest decisions of my life, who will be there to support me? I dont know the answer. All I know is that I have the Lord and that is good enough for me. If you are reading this and disagree with some of my decisions, or think that I am stupid for giving up certain opportunities, you are welcome to have those opinions, but I cannot bear to live a life that does not serve our God %100. Up until now, I have not lived that life and it is a process that I will most likely struggle through for the rest of my life, but I have the lord on my side. I must make every effort to let the lord live in me and follow HIS paths. Not mine, not my parents’, not my friends’. I must be willing to give up what society tells me to do for my lord. I must be willing to not follow the college degree-high paying job-marriage-house-baby-retire-die cycle that we are told is the proper way to live. Maybe I will end up going down that same path, but that is not for anyone but God to decide for me. What if I end up living in a dirt floor hut in the middle of Africa for the rest of my life? Not for me to decide. The only decision I get to make is to wake up every morning and take up my cross and follow HIM. That decision is hard, but is one that I am willing to make.


When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” -Luke 18:22