the day that changed it all

This is an entry in my Dominican Journal, I didn't know this then, but this day changed my life forever. 

3-10-11

Yesterday was Puerto Plata day. On this day we go to the hospital and the dump. It takes around 3 hours to get to the city so we wake up early and hit the road. When we got into Puerto Plata we went straight into the hospital and over to the children's ward. Most of the children were there with mild injuries and illnesses, but there was one who stood out the most. It was a boy who was at least 10 years old and he could have not weighed more than 30 pounds. He just laid there lifeless while his mother fed him a thick formula out of a baby bottle. We sang and prayed and I just couldn't leave the room. I couldn't leave the boy and his mom alone, with no hope. After my group left the room I walked over to the boy and his mother and asked her if I could pray for her son. With tears in her eyes, she said a meed "Si, por favor". I held his weak hand and prayed over him, as soon as the prayer was over I completely melted into tears. I have never seen anyone so malnourished, then I remembered that I, too, have been in that place of malnourishment before, just in a different way. I was weak and sick and my only hope was God holding me tight and feeding me the thick milk of his word. Just seeing how I had felt on the inside displayed so perfectly in the hospital was overwhelming. After pulling myself together, we went to other children rooms and sand and prayed over them. There was a 4 month old baby there named Reubens and he was covered in either a rash or a burn. He was by far, the happiest baby I have ever seen, just looking at each other we laughed and laughed. This, too, reminds me of my savior. I was once hurt and I have scars, but I am whole and joyful to be alive in Him. 

After visiting the children ward we went to the woman's wing and sang and prayed with them as well. We got to spend some time with William our translator, and he is absolutely hilarious! After the hospital we went to a part to eat lunch and I got to spend some time with Kins just talking about our faith and the sacrifices involved in giving up everything for your faith. 

After eating lunch we spent some time getting to know and playing with the kids at the dump. When we arrived, kids started to run over and play with us. One little girl was standing by herself so I went up and tried to talk to her, she wouldn't look me in the eye, talk, or even smile. It was obvious that this little girl, only a few years old, has already experienced a harsh life. I finally talked her into sitting in my lap and she wouldn't let go. All I could do was hug and love on this little girl. I held her so tight and kissed her head and repeated over and over that I loved her. Eventually she looked me in the eyes and gave me a faint smile. I prayed for her and sent her to play. 

After the little girl started playing, Kins asked me to come as these two girls their names, the older sister was Johailey and the little girl's name was Corazon, which means heart in spanish. Corazon immediately stood out because she had one arm that is underdeveloped. I soon got to talking to Corazon and there was an immediate bond. She is absolutely beautiful and has the perfect smile. She would hug me tight, with both arms and when she went to give me a high five, she would never use her fully developed arm. Her mom came up to me and told me that I was the only friend Cora had and I am so blessed to be her friend. We sang and played together and eventually she ended up in my arms and wouldn't let go. It came time for us to leave and I went to hand Cora back to her mom and her mom told me no. She told me several times to take Cora with me. My heart broke into pieces. I wanted so badly to say "of course I'll take her", but I couldn't. I then took her to her sister and her sister told me no as well. What was I supposed to do? This 4 year old girl was my friend that I loved. I couldn't leave her. I eventually had to put her down and we had a tearful goodbye. I pray she is okay, that she is loved and cherished. I miss her terribly and I want nothing more than to go back to the dump and bring her home with me. 

Lord, I pray that Cora has your love and peace raining down on her. Help her to know that she is loved and cherished, I love you Lord, amen. 

THIS DAY CHANGED ME FOREVER. 

Ever since meeting Cora, my heart has been flipping upside down in my chest to get back to the Dominican to see her. Cora put a face and a name to the millions of children who go to bed hungry, the millions of children who have disabilities and diseases but are in environments in which they cannot thrive, the millions of children whose parents would give them to a stranger in a heartbeat if it meant that there child would have a chance. 

I am not ok with this. 

Ever since this day, the lord has been moving my heart in ways that I could never imagine. Laying out plans for me, that I would never plan for myself. 

I ask for prayers as I try to discern the Lord's will. I am willing to give it all up for him and I just pray that I will go where the Lord plants me. If that is in the Dominican dump, I will go. If that is in America, I will stay. 

In the coming months, I will be having to make some huge decisions about my future and where I will end up. I cannot wait to see what journey God takes me on, dont get me wrong, I would love for it to be next to Cora, but if not I will remain joyful whereever I go.